Linear Avenue Storage
"Wow, I had no idea such a large place was so close!" They entered a cavernous, sinous driveway snaking downwards.
"It helps that it's mostly underground, you'd never guess from the outside how big it is, either."
"Why are we here?"
"I've been told I received a present."
"In here? So someone gifted you a car?"
"Yeah?"
"That sounds suspicious!"
"No more than the last three times it happened?"
"What? You received a car before?"
"Like I said, three times. For my eighteenth, twentieth and twenty-fourth birthday."
"But you're not a car person though?"
"Not really, when I need to go someplace in a car, it's usually a staff car."
"But you were gifted them?"
"Auntie Galatea and that bunch are part owners of an aircar factory."
"Wait, so not just a car, an air car? Like Amarat's bad choices?"
"His 'Painful Truth'? That's a present, from the same source." That was a lie, but a little white lie, while explaining he and Amarat had tried to buy it together, to try to impress the same ex-girlfriend just made him want to throw up these days.
"Could he afford it?"
"If it was a model on the open market, he probably could. But the model he's been getting is practically made to order, two years in advance, vetted by the CEO only."
"Oh, exclusive?"
"Some of our then-friends were so jealous of Amarat, they unfriended him over the preferential treatment."
"Oh, that had to suck."
"Let's go talk to the manager."
"Yes, Zim?"
"I was told you had something for me?"
"Ah, and who would you be?"
"I am Linnaeus Van Pelt."
"I'll need the password."
"Lanungmei of Saphirdom, Feyd Soshitan, Ryder Kannagael Lucair of Ferrare, Baron of Welf, Baron of Sottofumo-Tagliare, on behalf of Ninu dell'Auro?"
"That's the password, was that a lucky guess?"
"No one else would bother with such extravagance."
"I was given a letter for you, along with the contents of the storage unit."
"Do you know what's in the unit?"
"A Veri Special Motors VSM-1200 Naddoccie Cruocche aircar, painted dark purple and black, with flare guards."
"Here." "You need to read this..." "What?" "Well, for one you could, if you wanted to, buy the house from me, going by these figures." "That's just the insurance!" "You didn't read, go, read." "Five years salary, at his new rate, commensurate with grade LGOF-10." She read aloud. "What, then? He was never ten..." "No, but anyone who dies with anything like a good record usually gets a bonus, anyone like your dad, who retired a legend, gets a posthumous promotion." "He was a LGOF-07 Gold, not a LGOF-09 Iridium!" "One rank per merit is standard... Your dad would have been eligible for LGOF-11, if the rules had been followed." "But that rank doesn't even exist!" "No, but your dad had 25 years of service, counting his non-com and commissioned ranks." "Yeah, your point?" "A ten year tenure is usually half of another rank." "How do you know so much?" "Listen, I'm responsible for the jade banks at state, remember?" "Yeah, at state, not the lifeguards... Not the palaces'..." "Except those are the same, ever since the reform of 809, State manages Jade Banks and encryption for the border guards, the lifeguards and protocol services, under a ten year contract we swiped from the Navy." "How did you manage that?" "I can't vouch for when it happened, but I know since I started... We're on track for a ten per cent per year efficiency gain." "Oh my gosh, I'm so stupid, you're the one who WROTE that document, aren't you?" "No, I had someone else input it... Conflict of interest. I'm the one who made sure it didn't break any systems considering just how many automatic safeguards, triggers, checks and balances are involved." "Wait, so my dad?" "Look, I needed an Edict just to play with so much of his file, to make it fit... Not that Meihomei was minding." "To make it fit?" "He ended up an LGOF-14.3, with expectations that more than half the Armed Services would attend his funeral." "How is that problematic?" "We can't have more than half the services off duty, not at once! They are also paid for attending the funeral! I needed three signatures, not two, because common accounts doesn't keep that many multiples of Salary on hand, for the thirty-three per cent of Armed Services that did show up, or got granted leave!" "What? That many?" "Your dad was the Telbun, before he was commissioned, that makes him a member of all the services, they all were expected to show up... All seven of them!" "Well, they did. I noticed, I saw all seven colours on that day. I even saw all seven bands in a cortege, I didn't even know border guards had one!" "They do, they only come out to bury armed servicemembers, they literally have no other duties than playing at funerals and specific holidays. But wait, seven? You saw the purples-and-greens' band?" "Yeah, I imagine they only come out for funerals, I mean, a special forces band?" "Either that, or they're all spies..." "Err, well they're not just all direct action, some of them are more deniable." "Yeah, the mission statement is small groups of armed men doing what's needed, no questions asked. You know something..." "I recognized someone in that band..." "Spit it out, who?" "Tadros, Tadros Dandelion, my father's successor as Telbun. He was handling some drums." "He's matriculated in the Navy though." "I imagine they can't field a full specforce band with just officers, and very senior non-coms, which is what most of them are." "You don't look surprised that someone whose suits are as grey as his was suited up in purple and greens?" "I've seen him in different colours before." "What?" "I've seen him in blue jays before." "In Jays?" "He'd have been managing third for Firrson." "That low?" "I imagine they figured if he was showing your pins, someone would have noticed." "Yeah, we would, he was Meihomei's pilot, back in the day, in greys." "What, her pilot? In greys?" "Yeah, in greys. Distracting if you've seen someone in one job in one uniform, showing up in a different uniform, but for a close enough job." "Should I be worried I'll run into Mariwolfe in Blazing Golds?" "I would dare say that's the only one she didn't have experience with before being Telbun, so your guess is as good as mine." "What, she's been ground?" "Naval dockyard crews are technically half navy, half-ground force engineering taskings, she's an actual bridge-builder, with architect credentials, those get frocked in ground forces. But she's also been Engineering for FlyForce and Navy, and SpecOps..." "SpecOps engineering?" "Building secret facilities. You'd let someone not sworn to secrecy set up the spy hq?" "Just how much building engineering does she have?" "Enough that her building at Maelle Comma Academy's the architecture facility." "Architecture?" "Marcia calls her bridge-builder, that's enough for me." "Who's Marcia?" "Clara Marcela Xanda, Engineering Officer from New Etrusca assigned to Treaty Authority Enforcement, her new Miptun." "Wait, a new miptun? Didn't she have one of those?" "What can I say, she's got two now. One's visiting from abroad, one's a local from Garay." "Wait, why'd you have a license for aircars in Garay?" "I took the drive test from my vacation home in Starkastar." "'Your' vacation home?" "Ok, 'Auntie's' vacation home, in Starkastar, Nightsky House, where Amarat rules." "What, Amarat rules there?" "Auntie rules in Garay, she can't rule in the smaller places, trust me, it's just how the rules work, plus, Amarat likes to work on his tan sometimes too..." "His tan?" "Yeah, nightsky house is on the beach, you totally want to work on your tan if you go there, really." "My tan?" She preened. "Well, not that yours needs work, but, I figured you wanted to see me drool a little more..." "That'll do, that'll do. Do you spend a lot of time on the beach?" "Some, when I'm not reading in my hammock, I do like the cats to find me." "How's their imperative to bury their poo not a liability on the beach?" "I trained them to prefer loam to sand. And there's plenty of loam at nightsky house..." "So they do in the gardens?" "The vegetable gardens, if you please, although, if you upset them, the tchaflowers might not like it..." "Tchaflowers?" "Nightsky has a whole hothouse full of blue tchaflowers, it's famous for it." "My favourite..." "I noticed." "You going to get me some flowers?" "What? You think there's not a bouquet right behind you? I'm wounded, I'm more efficient than that..." "You got me some blues?" "Nine blues, for our anniversary. I hate that it's the week after your father passing, but it is our 9 months anniversary." "Someone is diligent about marking time..." "I do try..." "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I totally would have given you a pass, because of dad..." "I'm sorry?" "Dad only saved your life, I'm not trying to wring sympathy, but he's hardly absent from your childhood." "I'm on a short list of people with so many enemies, my friends have more than five heroes to celebrate just for me being alive..." "Honey, just let go, I'm your Miptun, you're my hero for being alive... But you want to hear something funny?" "What?" "You're also my hero for getting me a flying car..." "Hmm, a flying car, really?" "Seriously, I get a painful truth, out of dating you?" "Kinda." "OMG" "Calm yourself, you still have to date me..." "You say that like it's a hardship..."
From Amarat, Mei Domine Palace of Megamisama in Innu, To Linnaeus Van Pelt, Lanungmei of Saphirdom, Feyd Soshitan, Ryder Kannagael, Lucair of Ferrare, Baron of Welf, Baron of Sottofumo-Tagliare Tranquility, 17 Linear Avenue, Megamisama, Dear cousin Linni, I'm sure you expect this letter to be from Ninu, not me. I've given much thought to my aircar, and how I use and abuse it, since Flora passed. Since, it's not technically mine, but a shared purchase we made, years ago, I feel I can safely give you my share of it, and expect you to act more responsibly with it than I would. Careful, the turbines have been retuned, it's even faster than you remember. Love, your cousin, well at this point, your blood-brother Amarat Beltran Meltran Flinflon Nomintan Killidarvi Sporray Sottofumare Konigsee Stillbergen Ferrare Veneer, ME-20 Bameimeito, Baron of Sporray, Baron of Konigsee, Count of Stillbergen, Namolec prime of Sottolanga, Loroni-warbaron of Utta-Utta, Prince of Ferrare, High Prince of Benevento"You're not going to believe this..." "What?" "It's not Amarat's Painful truth anymore..." "No? What's happening to it." "It's ours..." "Let me read that..." She read quickly. "No, it's yours..." "Come on, I'm not going to be wise if it's mine, plus, unlike Amarat, I don't have a license for an aircar in Megamisama." "What? You owned half this car, and you couldn't drive it?" "I could drive it, in Garay, or Benevento, I have licenses for both, but not Megamisama." "Hmm..." "Besides, what's mine is yours, anyways, but being on the papers for the car will help keep our premiums reasonable, since you're actually tested for combat driving at work..." "I am tested for survival driving every quarter, what, that might help the premiums?" "I'm hoping, but I have no way of telling..." "There's something you're not telling me..." "I think we should do the same with the house..." "I can't buy in..." "When I say half of what's mine is yours, I'm not quoting a platitude." "What, but that house is... Worth more than my dad's medals!" "Come on, what's that about?" "Err, at dad's funeral, they gave me his medals, and the price tag had been left there..." "Did they forget to include his death benefits?" "What?" "Normally, and this is for insurance purposes, the document you're left with is a statement of his death benefits, and a quote for insurance, for the jewels. Do you still have it?" "Hmm, yeah, I thought they goofed, and I should keep it, in case they ever asked for any of it back..." "Look, mom and dad were not heroes, although they had a pair of peacock medals apiece, that's hardly like a merit or anything... But it was a nice bit of cash." "And you got sent that?" "Yeah, plus a bunch of other things that were in the house, but that we could keep on using since we, that is, me and luci, were both employed at state. Let's look at that paper when we get home."
"Here." "You need to read this..." "What?" "Well, for one you could, if you wanted to, buy the house from me, going by these figures." "That's just the insurance!" "You didn't read, go, read." "Five years salary, at his new rate, commensurate with grade LGOF-10." She read aloud. "What, then? He was never ten..." "No, but anyone who dies with anything like a good record usually gets a bonus, anyone like your dad, who retired a legend, gets a posthumous promotion." "He was a LGOF-07 Gold, not a LGOF-09 Iridium!" "One rank per merit is standard... Your dad would have been eligible for LGOF-11, if the rules had been followed." "But that rank doesn't even exist!" "No, but your dad had 25 years of service, counting his non-com and commissioned ranks." "Yeah, your point?" "A ten year tenure is usually half of another rank." "How do you know so much?" "Listen, I'm responsible for the jade banks at state, remember?" "Yeah, at state, not the lifeguards... Not the palaces'..." "Except those are the same, ever since the reform of 809, State manages Jade Banks and encryption for the border guards, the lifeguards and protocol services, under a ten year contract we swiped from the Navy." "How did you manage that?" "I can't vouch for when it happened, but I know since I started... We're on track for a ten per cent per year efficiency gain." "Oh my gosh, I'm so stupid, you're the one who WROTE that document, aren't you?" "No, I had someone else input it... Conflict of interest. I'm the one who made sure it didn't break any systems considering just how many automatic safeguards, triggers, checks and balances are involved." "Wait, so my dad?" "Look, I needed an Edict just to play with so much of his file, to make it fit... Not that Meihomei was minding." "To make it fit?" "He ended up an LGOF-14.3, with expectations that more than half the Armed Services would attend his funeral." "How is that problematic?" "We can't have more than half the services off duty, not at once! They are also paid for attending the funeral! I needed three signatures, not two, because common accounts doesn't keep that many multiples of Salary on hand, for the thirty-three per cent of Armed Services that did show up, or got granted leave!" "What? That many?" "Your dad was the Telbun, before he was commissioned, that makes him a member of all the services, they all were expected to show up... All seven of them!" "Well, they did. I noticed, I saw all seven colours on that day. I even saw all seven bands in a cortege, I didn't even know border guards had one!" "They do, they only come out to bury armed servicemembers, they literally have no other duties than playing at funerals and specific holidays. But wait, seven? You saw the purples-and-greens' band?" "Yeah, I imagine they only come out for funerals, I mean, a special forces band?" "Either that, or they're all spies..." "Err, well they're not just all direct action, some of them are more deniable." "Yeah, the mission statement is small groups of armed men doing what's needed, no questions asked. You know something..." "I recognized someone in that band..." "Spit it out, who?" "Tadros, Tadros Dandelion, my father's successor as Telbun. He was handling some drums." "He's matriculated in the Navy though." "I imagine they can't field a full specforce band with just officers, and very senior non-coms, which is what most of them are." "You don't look surprised that someone whose suits are as grey as his was suited up in purple and greens?" "I've seen him in different colours before." "What?" "I've seen him in blue jays before." "In Jays?" "He'd have been managing third for Firrson." "That low?" "I imagine they figured if he was showing your pins, someone would have noticed." "Yeah, we would, he was Meihomei's pilot, back in the day, in greys." "What, her pilot? In greys?" "Yeah, in greys. Distracting if you've seen someone in one job in one uniform, showing up in a different uniform, but for a close enough job." "Should I be worried I'll run into Mariwolfe in Blazing Golds?" "I would dare say that's the only one she didn't have experience with before being Telbun, so your guess is as good as mine." "What, she's been ground?" "Naval dockyard crews are technically half navy, half-ground force engineering taskings, she's an actual bridge-builder, with architect credentials, those get frocked in ground forces. But she's also been Engineering for FlyForce and Navy, and SpecOps..." "SpecOps engineering?" "Building secret facilities. You'd let someone not sworn to secrecy set up the spy hq?" "Just how much building engineering does she have?" "Enough that her building at Maelle Comma Academy's the architecture facility." "Architecture?" "Marcia calls her bridge-builder, that's enough for me." "Who's Marcia?" "Clara Marcela Xanda, Engineering Officer from New Etrusca assigned to Treaty Authority Enforcement, her new Miptun." "Wait, a new miptun? Didn't she have one of those?" "What can I say, she's got two now. One's visiting from abroad, one's a local from Garay." "Wait, why'd you have a license for aircars in Garay?" "I took the drive test from my vacation home in Starkastar." "'Your' vacation home?" "Ok, 'Auntie's' vacation home, in Starkastar, Nightsky House, where Amarat rules." "What, Amarat rules there?" "Auntie rules in Garay, she can't rule in the smaller places, trust me, it's just how the rules work, plus, Amarat likes to work on his tan sometimes too..." "His tan?" "Yeah, nightsky house is on the beach, you totally want to work on your tan if you go there, really." "My tan?" She preened. "Well, not that yours needs work, but, I figured you wanted to see me drool a little more..." "That'll do, that'll do. Do you spend a lot of time on the beach?" "Some, when I'm not reading in my hammock, I do like the cats to find me." "How's their imperative to bury their poo not a liability on the beach?" "I trained them to prefer loam to sand. And there's plenty of loam at nightsky house..." "So they do in the gardens?" "The vegetable gardens, if you please, although, if you upset them, the tchaflowers might not like it..." "Tchaflowers?" "Nightsky has a whole hothouse full of blue tchaflowers, it's famous for it." "My favourite..." "I noticed." "You going to get me some flowers?" "What? You think there's not a bouquet right behind you? I'm wounded, I'm more efficient than that..." "You got me some blues?" "Nine blues, for our anniversary. I hate that it's the week after your father passing, but it is our 9 months anniversary." "Someone is diligent about marking time..." "I do try..." "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I totally would have given you a pass, because of dad..." "I'm sorry?" "Dad only saved your life, I'm not trying to wring sympathy, but he's hardly absent from your childhood." "I'm on a short list of people with so many enemies, my friends have more than five heroes to celebrate just for me being alive..." "Honey, just let go, I'm your Miptun, you're my hero for being alive... But you want to hear something funny?" "What?" "You're also my hero for getting me a flying car..." "Hmm, a flying car, really?" "Seriously, I get a painful truth, out of dating you?" "Kinda." "OMG" "Calm yourself, you still have to date me..." "You say that like it's a hardship..."
Type
Warehouse, Massive / Storage complex
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