24 August 1986 – West Ware Road, Enfield, Massachusetts
Jeff and Pauline sat at the breakfast table, each lost in their thoughts while they ate. Today was the day that they would say goodbye to each other, ending their relationship of eighteen months. Neither was under the impression that the goodbye would be easy. They held each other’s hand, desperate to maintain contact; they were willing to struggle through eating one-handed to do so.
Pauline’s new environment at college would bring new opportunities and experiences. Jeff would share in none of those things since he would be a high school senior. They agreed to remain friends, but neither took any comfort in that, today.
Marisa watched the young couple with sorrow. She was amazed that she’d allowed Pauline to sleep over for the couple’s final night together. Marisa knew full well what happened behind Jeff’s door last night. All four parents admitted to one another that the couple was being mature and thoughtful about the impending separation. Their request wasn’t that outrageous.
Pauline had been good for Jeff, a good first girlfriend. And good first, well, other experience. No parent wanted to think about that part of their child’s development, but she admitted that they handled being caught in flagrante delicto last year with maturity. Marisa worried about how her son would handle the coming days.
Breakfast ended all too soon. Pauline gathered her things because it was time for her to head home. She said goodbye to the rest of the Knox family before Jeff walked her out to her car. His family remained inside to give the teenage lovers some privacy. Once at her car, Pauline embraced Jeff and began sobbing. Jeff couldn’t keep a dry eye himself. They held their embrace for some time before either spoke.
“Thank you, Pauline,” Jeff whispered. “Thank you for letting me be your boyfriend. Thank you for giving me a chance.”
“Thank you, Jeff,” she sniffed. “Thank you for making my choice last year seem like a complete no-brainer. This past year and a half has been the best I ever could have asked for. I’ll compare how anyone else treats me from now on to how you treated me. Don’t become a recluse this year, okay? Have some fun, it’s your senior year.” She paused, the old, familiar twinkle of mischief returning to her sad eyes. “Don’t forget, I’ve got a very loyal spy in the Class of 1988 watching you.”
He had to chuckle. “Don’t hit my sister up for too much information,” he grinned despite the pain of impending loss.
Pauline nodded and her demeanor changed back to serious. “Be well, Jeff. I’ll never forget you.”
“Be well, Pauline.”
The two kissed one last time. When the kiss ended, tears streaked down Pauline’s face as she got into her car. Jeff forced back his own tears. Pauline backed her car down the driveway with Jeff following it as she did so. He watched her drive away with a hole in his heart. He stood looking after her for long after she was out of sight. He turned when he felt his mother’s hand on his arm.
“Jeff? Are you going to be okay?” she asked.
“Eventually, Mom,” he said, turning back to face the street. “I’m going to change and go for a run. Maybe channel these emotions into something useful today.” He made his way back to the house to get ready.
Jeff pushed himself hard during his run, trying to drive his sorrow away through force of effort. It didn’t work. His emotions broke through the wall he tried to build with hard running. He sat down on the edge of a lawn, hiding his face in his hands. Grief tore his heart out through his throat. He’d barely gotten himself under control when he heard a familiar voice.
“Jeff?”
Turning, Jeff recognized Charlene Flaherty, or ‘Charlie’ as she preferred. She was in his sister’s class and a fellow three-sport athlete.
“Excuse me, but are you okay?”
“Hi, Charlie. Not really, no, not okay.”
“Jeff, what’s wrong?”
“Just trying to deal with some stuff, Charlie. It kinda got the best of me,” he explained. “Pauline and I said goodbye to each other about two hours ago.” He looked around to see where he was, now that his head was clearer. “Oh, I hadn’t noticed that I stopped in front of your house.”
Ignoring his comment about her house, Charlie sat down next to him and asked, “She’s starting college soon I gather?”
Jeff nodded. “She moves into her dorm at UMass tomorrow. I knew this was going to be tough, but I wasn’t ready for how much it hurts right now.”
“‘Time heals all wounds,’ Jeff, and you just said you’ve only had about two hours to let the healing begin. It’ll get better, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.”
“I know you’re right, Charlie, but my heart doesn’t agree.” Jeff stood up, wobbling. “Whoa. I guess I pushed a little too hard. If I give you my phone number, would you mind calling my house? Tell my family that I’m walking home from here so they don’t get worried?”
“Of course,” she said, hugging him while giving him a sympathetic smile. “Keep your head up, Jeff. You’re one of the good guys, and I think more than a few girls will be letting you know what they think of you this year.”
“Thanks, Charlie,” he said, giving her another weak smile in return. “I’ll see you tomorrow, for the start of this year’s double-session fun.” He gave her a little wave and started towards home.
Charlie watched him walk off, hoping that she gave him some measure of comfort because he was a good guy.
Chris Micklicz collapsed onto the grass at the end of the run. The midfielders had just run ‘Indian Runs.’ While players jog around the outside boundaries of the soccer field, the last runner sprints for the front of the line, weaving between the others as they run. One run is brutal, but they ran three. Chris didn’t mind working hard before the season, but Jeff was going to work them to death.
The rest of the morning practice session was more of the same. Jeff ran the breakout portions for the midfielders with an intensity Chris had never seen before. He knew the end of Jeff’s relationship with Pauline was behind this behavior. He tried to talk to Jeff about how he was doing on Monday but had been rebuffed. A full week of this intensity would burn out the midfield before the season even started.
“Coach?” Chris called from the doorway to his coach’s office.
Peter Romanov looked up from his lunch and waved Chris in. Chris shut the door and sat down in front of his desk.
“What’s up, Chris?”
“Sir, it’s Jeff.”
“Jeff? What’s going on?”
“He’s gonna work us to death, Coach,” Chris warned. “You know I don’t mind hard work, but this is, well, I don’t know what this is.”
“What do you think the problem is?” the coach asked.
“He’s been dating my sister for a year and a half,” Chris said. “She started at UMass on Monday and they broke up the day before. They planned the break up a while ago but it’s bothering him more than I expected. Obviously, more than he expected, too.”
Coach Romanov nodded. “I’ll watch him this afternoon and speak to him.”
“Thanks, Coach,” Chris said as he rose.
Peter Romanov kept his eyes on Jeff as the afternoon progressed. He noticed what Chris talked about right away. He modified his plan for the afternoon session to keep the team practicing together. He called Jeff into his office at the end of the day.
“Jeff, would you step in here for a second?”
“Sure, Coach,” Jeff answered, closing his locker. He stepped into the office. “What’s up, Coach?”
“Close the door, Jeff, and sit down.” Jeff did so. “How are things going this year, Jeff?”
“I think we’ve got a good group, Coach. They’ll do fine.”
“Before or after you run them into the ground?” he asked in a quiet voice and a slight smile.
“Coach?”
“Jeff, you’re pushing the midfielders pretty hard. You’re going to break them before the season even starts at this pace.”
“You know me, Coach. I run the midfield hard and we’re always ready for the year.”
“It’s a little more than that this year, Jeff. I heard about Pauline.”
That brought Jeff up short. He rewound the week in his head and played back the scenes. He realized the coach was correct.
“Geez, Coach you’re right,” he said a moment later, shocked at his behavior.
“I understand, Jeff. It’s not a problem.”
“Coach, I’m sorry.”
“Jeff, it’s not a problem, don’t worry about it,” Coach Romanov assured him.
“It won’t happen again,” Jeff assured him.
“Jeff. Take a breath. It’s fine. It’s handled.”
Jeff swallowed. “Yes, Sir.”
“Go on home, I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Yes, Sir,” he repeated as he stood.
Jeff wandered back out to the locker room, grabbing his bag before heading to his car. He sat in the driver’s seat for a long while before putting the car in drive.
Jeff opened his locker to retrieve the books for his first class. He just finished his pre-school workout. He’d been working out with a single-mindedness that shocked even him ever since Pauline left for school.
Jeff felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Kathy Stein standing there along with Jack Jarrett. Kathy looked at him in sorrow and gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Jeff, I’m so sorry...” she whispered.
“Thanks, Kathy,” he replied. “It’s not like we didn’t know this was coming, but it does still hurt...”
“You wouldn’t be who you are if it didn’t, Jeff,” Kathy said as Jack stepped forward to pat him on the shoulder.
Jeff nodded to his friend as he felt another body hug him. It was Allison Newbury. She had fit right in with his small group of close friends. Part of him did notice that she looked phenomenal this year. Other friends patted him on the shoulder or hugged him. As they expressed their condolences to him, Jeff didn’t notice that Allison continued to stand next to him.
“Hey,” Kathy called to a morose-looking Allison in their first-period English class. Allison looked over and Kathy asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Allison said, in an almost inaudible voice.
“Survey says: <BUUUZZZZ!>” Kathy responded. “Your face is dragging on the ground, missy! Now spill it!”
“Jeff didn’t even notice me when I hugged him,” Allison said.
“You’re kidding me, right? His girlfriend of eighteen months just left for college, walking right out of his life! He wouldn’t notice a supernova exploding next to him right now!” Kathy pointed a finger at Allison. “You, my not-so-smart smart friend, need to learn a new vocab word: persistence!”
“What do you mean?”
“You stick to that boy like glue. One of these days, if you stick it out, he’s gonna pull his head out of the sand and notice you. Crap, he’ll have to be dead or gay not to at that point!”
Allison let out a breath. She could do this! At least Kathy thought she could. “Okay,” she said to her classmate. “Okay, how should I do this?”
Kathy looked up while Mr. Fenniman rose from his desk to start the lesson. “Walk with me after class!” she whispered. Allison nodded, then turned her attention to her teacher.
