CI-06 Assistant Auxiliary Vice-Undersecretary
"Who are you?"
"I am Linnaeus Van Pelt, CI-05 Senior Director of Technology, Megamisama HQ."
"You're the director only for HQ?"
"Anyone director for more than an office isn't a director anymore, unless the rules changed while I wasn't looking."
"Hrmph. So you report to a CI-06?"
"Technology, as you know, is a major Secretariat."
"What can I do for you?"
"I'm here for an audit, you've been flagged for inspection of your physical security procedures."
"What, I'm inspected for physical security, and they send a jadeware specialist?"
"I go where they send me."
Four hours later. "It never changes does it, Zim, these countermasters expecting us not to be able to count?" "Not lately, they're a bit behind on the technology curve, being able to put a tracer into every item worth the price of the tracer makes their business very very improfitable." "Is it really that simple?" "Simple? No Lad, we've caught them, and it's Linni's word against them, so far..." "But you've seen..." "Ah, but I'm an old man, my eyes are acting up..." Marhamat Dandelion's eyes had lost none of their luster, but he could fake it, and he was faking it now... Linni thought he knew what that meant... "You want to keep up the charade, see who else is implicated?" "Aye, Lad, if you're willing, it'll be dangerous, but me and Tadros here won't be far, we want whatever poison rots the heart of one of Kagomei's most important Departments." "And you, Amarat?" "If you need someone to distract them I'll move in, but otherwise, I think, you've got them hoodwinked enough..." "Is there such a thing, as hoodwinked enough?" "Ah, a valid question Lad, they seem to suspect nothing, and we planted enough probes and send-home drones that they can't erase everything, not anymore, but can they erase key data? Possibly, I doubt it, but perhaps, there are some skilled Jade Pirates out there." "And if they do?" "They'll get away scot free. If we can't prove they are culpable, they walk." "And keep their jobs?" "No, at least, I have enough influence that even if we can't prove it all... I can block them at their current level and they'd have to work hard to counteract this particular black mark." "Why?" "Because, I am Telbun, I have a power of tribunal all by myself, because of legal precedent. I don't go around calling random people to Tribunal, however, because being able to call the right people to Tribunal is incredibly useful, and I might lose it if I abuse it." "But in the meantime?" "In the meantime, as Meihomei's Senior Advisor, I don't investigate smoke without thinking there's fire. In this particular case though, Linni has found a lot of smoke..." "And Marhamat?" "I'm here to watch you... People in your position have abused their influence before, called the wrong people to Tribunal, skipped steps, all things you haven't done in this particular case, and your cousin is the perfect bait for this particular trap... Just high enough to be in line for CI-06, just low enough that he'd have to transfer out to accept that promotion." "What, he'd have to transfer out?" "I can't move up unless I make Vice-Under-secretary of Technology, State Department." "Naw, lad, you can't move up, unless you make Undersecretary, State Department. Technology is not one of the little ones." "Couldn't I move up in physical security?" "It's only happened once, and it actually strengthens your case to send you to them, you can say you are bucking for that particular promotion, despite not really having an inclination or particular talent... They'd think they can help influence it for you..." "And really?" "If you move up, it's because Technology opens up, Mother wouldn't waste you anywhere else..." "What?" "Really, you'll get the max raise that goes without a promotion, but she won't promote you out of your competencies, and that's Technology." "Couldn't I be Vice-undersecretary for Technology?" "All of the recent Vices were Intelligence Analysts." "I've done the classes..." "Please, everyone at that level has done the classes..." "But Linni has published papers on intentions, used visits to foreign powers for Kittening to determine allies' warmth and depth of support, he's hardly a typical book analyst." "What, he's done that eh?" "Just trying to do my bit, plus, I can't let my sister run TOO far ahead." "Where's your sister now?" "Ci-07 Auxiliary Vice-Undersecretary for Policy." "Aka, the benchwarmer for the CI-08s." "No, my mom's aide, and the benchwarmer for the CI-09s... When she moves up, she's going to move way up." "Would you even be happy, Linni, with a CI-06 position?" "I'm happy where they let me serve, Zim. I'm happy with my salary as it is, obviously, I won't turn down a raise, but I am not hurting, my cats are happy, my house is nice, and centrally located." "Centrally Located! Did you hear that Tadros?" "Yeah, I did, funny, I hear that's like saying being across the street from the palace is 'not too far from the good spots'. Linni's appartment had enough after parties and focus groups and breakout sessions and the like they're calling it the second state department." "I just want to serve, and most of those people, well, they want to talk, and some of it is quite partisan..." "Sure it is! But it's also more unfiltered than most!" "The Emeritus are saying the people who leave your party usually show up at the fire, and we've had some... conversations. You've been like the unofficial state department for years now." "Oi, oi! I want to help, I really do, but you guys make me sound..." "Like the nephew the Secretary of State tried to adopt, but didn't and now helping her count coup on all the other governments?" "Err, ok, some of that's probaby true, I ain't... figured out how to say no to Auntie just yet." "Mind you, none of us have, Nameihomei's a powerful position, as is Star-Emerald Knight of Great Kagome, and well, if your cousin her son can say no to her, we saw no evidence of that yet." "You two are enjoying this far too much, not that you two can say no to Auntie or Mommy except in emergencies." "Thank the elements, we haven't had a good reason to in quite a while, both of them are extremely well-read, level headed and shrewd, we've not needed to say no that often, and..." "And?" "And... let's just say we're happier not knowing what would cause us to say no, it's a touchy subject. The honour convention is pretty well-balanced lately, we don't have to raise a stink to get heard, and things are running smoothly." "And mom?" "Your Mother, and your Aunt, and, for that matter, Valias and Maelle and quite a few other females I could name are doing a bang up job, that the Kingmakers are too dense to appreciate, more fool them." "You think the kingmakers are fools?" "I... think the kingmakers would be much more formidable enemies if they weren't blinkered, wrongthinking, naive, under-cerebrated bigots. Some days I give thanks they're not smarter, some days I just want to pee on the whole notion they can even try to oppose a woman like your aunt, whose rule has been so far, rather stellar, and whose rule has risen the standard of living in Kagomei and every other metric we use for success, I heard Gubba-12 membership wasn't that far off... That's new, that wasn't reachable earlier in my lifetime!" "How did Auntie do it? I mean..." "Between Auntie and Mom, I suspect, a new treaty is the only way..." "What, what kind of treaty?" "Something big, like 30+ membership, and most of the Gubbas." "And why would the gubbas join in? Most of them already got free trade in Eurani?" "But not all of them, Aegypsom, Loro, Moniq, Nisei, Tsou, Hand, Goguryeo, New Etrusca, those all have asterisks for trade in Eurani." "And it'll take major mojo for them to abandon their protectionism from each other?" "Well, maybe, maybe not." "What are you saying, Amarat?" "Listen, I talk to mom more than anyone, ok? Protectionism is 'war by any other means' according to a bunch of Sarn philosophers." "So?" "So, Mom says if you can wean them off protectionism, through mutual defense pacts, you can build a bigger eurani pact." "I'm not betting against your mother, but you do realize anyone who'd do that would truly earn her moniker." "What moniker?" "Princess of Peace. How do you not know that?" "I do know sometimes the Secretary of State for Kagomei is granted that title... I just didn't think it was the one you meant..." "Domei of Strength? Wolf Lady? Baroness of Steel? Houseruler? She has a few..." "Houseruler? How'd she get that?" "Baegjag Bu-In Naeh-Inchon is her title in Goguryean Court." "What does that mean? Sorry, my Gohgur is nonexistant." "Lady of the house honour and decorum." "Wait, you lad is friends with the magelord of Nisei, and your mom is the fount of honour for Goguryeo?" "And Linni's sister is Electoral Princess or Prince of Saer-Natthingham." "And the kingmakers missed THAT?" "I can't imagine they missed it on purpose, but Dad and Linni's mom's pedigree is public information..." "How'd your mom's birth fly so far under the radar lad?" "What radar?" "If your sister's Electoral Princess? There's kingdoms that have treaties with her on behalf of her assets." "We weren't at the front of the line until recently..." "Who was?" "Amarat." "What?" "I had to abdicate a few crowns and coronets, I'm sure they were perfectly fine places, just not as great as Kagomei." "Benevent is not a coronet, noyjitat! Who the heck thought the Kingmakers were a serious political movement?" "They underestimate their opposition, that doesn't make them unserious, just lousy at intelligence..." "How lousy?" "They whiffed on the Mastarna of Benevento, the Electoral Princess or Prince of Saer-Natthingham and whoever inherits that Bu-baeg inchon title..." "Can't inherit that Gogur title, they had that one right, it's a distinction for her, while she lives." "Oh, at least, and what does it affect?" "She has to be present if the Primarch of Goguryeo abdicates, is coronated, or has heirs." "Wait, explain that to me like I'm an eight year old?" "She is not there, it doesn't count, Goguryeo cannot have an heir, a ruler, or remove one, unless she's present and witnesses... It'd be... without honour, and I quote." "Kinda like you have to be there for the Magelord of Nisei to be raised, Tadros?" "It's not an exact match, but the similitude is there, I, and all the other living Dawn Standards..." He paused, just barely resisting adding 'including yourself, Marhamat', "...who can walk must be present for a Nisan Magelord's ascension. There's been some truly ridiculous examples of 'can walk, for the purposes of this discussion', before." "And Bu-baeg-...?" "It's more extensive, it's a singular position, not quite unlike the Valour-keeper of Kagomei, if she disapproves, the primarch isn't worthy..." "Noyjitat!" "What he said." "Your mother has VETO on the king of Goguryeo?" "Primarch, not king, but yeah, kinda, and that part of the Gogurean constitution is written in Dawn Moniqan, it predates some parts of the Eurani Pact." "What, your mom has constitutional powers over 11 centuries old?" "Something like that." "Did the kingmakers goof, or what?" "Maybe not?" "What do you mean, Linni?" "Auntie is so big, they could just try to say they never had a fair chance?" "Hmm, ok, I want to say that's far-fetched, but they're actually so babes in the wood, they'd try that." "And Auntie's overseas holdings are neither required disclosures, nor common knowledge." "Why not?" "Mostly? Leverage." "No, effing way." "Come on, you've got fingers in the Loro pie, the Eurani Pie, the Goghur, the Moniq, the New Lolland, you're going to make noise?" "No, I get you, but... that only works as long as it's a secret! Mom's influence was never going to be a secret." "How big was she going to go?" "She had never thought to keep Benevent a secret, it was too pleasant a place for that." "Oh, fugetaboutit. She's Mastareir of Benevento?" "Bresciani Res/Beneventi Res isn't exactly that far..." "Wha? I mean, boy, you've always sounded so personable, so accessible. But, Brescia is Gubba-12, and Beneventi is a lot of the reason. Ferrare is a lot of the reason, the main part of Beneventi under his family's control."
Four hours later. "It never changes does it, Zim, these countermasters expecting us not to be able to count?" "Not lately, they're a bit behind on the technology curve, being able to put a tracer into every item worth the price of the tracer makes their business very very improfitable." "Is it really that simple?" "Simple? No Lad, we've caught them, and it's Linni's word against them, so far..." "But you've seen..." "Ah, but I'm an old man, my eyes are acting up..." Marhamat Dandelion's eyes had lost none of their luster, but he could fake it, and he was faking it now... Linni thought he knew what that meant... "You want to keep up the charade, see who else is implicated?" "Aye, Lad, if you're willing, it'll be dangerous, but me and Tadros here won't be far, we want whatever poison rots the heart of one of Kagomei's most important Departments." "And you, Amarat?" "If you need someone to distract them I'll move in, but otherwise, I think, you've got them hoodwinked enough..." "Is there such a thing, as hoodwinked enough?" "Ah, a valid question Lad, they seem to suspect nothing, and we planted enough probes and send-home drones that they can't erase everything, not anymore, but can they erase key data? Possibly, I doubt it, but perhaps, there are some skilled Jade Pirates out there." "And if they do?" "They'll get away scot free. If we can't prove they are culpable, they walk." "And keep their jobs?" "No, at least, I have enough influence that even if we can't prove it all... I can block them at their current level and they'd have to work hard to counteract this particular black mark." "Why?" "Because, I am Telbun, I have a power of tribunal all by myself, because of legal precedent. I don't go around calling random people to Tribunal, however, because being able to call the right people to Tribunal is incredibly useful, and I might lose it if I abuse it." "But in the meantime?" "In the meantime, as Meihomei's Senior Advisor, I don't investigate smoke without thinking there's fire. In this particular case though, Linni has found a lot of smoke..." "And Marhamat?" "I'm here to watch you... People in your position have abused their influence before, called the wrong people to Tribunal, skipped steps, all things you haven't done in this particular case, and your cousin is the perfect bait for this particular trap... Just high enough to be in line for CI-06, just low enough that he'd have to transfer out to accept that promotion." "What, he'd have to transfer out?" "I can't move up unless I make Vice-Under-secretary of Technology, State Department." "Naw, lad, you can't move up, unless you make Undersecretary, State Department. Technology is not one of the little ones." "Couldn't I move up in physical security?" "It's only happened once, and it actually strengthens your case to send you to them, you can say you are bucking for that particular promotion, despite not really having an inclination or particular talent... They'd think they can help influence it for you..." "And really?" "If you move up, it's because Technology opens up, Mother wouldn't waste you anywhere else..." "What?" "Really, you'll get the max raise that goes without a promotion, but she won't promote you out of your competencies, and that's Technology." "Couldn't I be Vice-undersecretary for Technology?" "All of the recent Vices were Intelligence Analysts." "I've done the classes..." "Please, everyone at that level has done the classes..." "But Linni has published papers on intentions, used visits to foreign powers for Kittening to determine allies' warmth and depth of support, he's hardly a typical book analyst." "What, he's done that eh?" "Just trying to do my bit, plus, I can't let my sister run TOO far ahead." "Where's your sister now?" "Ci-07 Auxiliary Vice-Undersecretary for Policy." "Aka, the benchwarmer for the CI-08s." "No, my mom's aide, and the benchwarmer for the CI-09s... When she moves up, she's going to move way up." "Would you even be happy, Linni, with a CI-06 position?" "I'm happy where they let me serve, Zim. I'm happy with my salary as it is, obviously, I won't turn down a raise, but I am not hurting, my cats are happy, my house is nice, and centrally located." "Centrally Located! Did you hear that Tadros?" "Yeah, I did, funny, I hear that's like saying being across the street from the palace is 'not too far from the good spots'. Linni's appartment had enough after parties and focus groups and breakout sessions and the like they're calling it the second state department." "I just want to serve, and most of those people, well, they want to talk, and some of it is quite partisan..." "Sure it is! But it's also more unfiltered than most!" "The Emeritus are saying the people who leave your party usually show up at the fire, and we've had some... conversations. You've been like the unofficial state department for years now." "Oi, oi! I want to help, I really do, but you guys make me sound..." "Like the nephew the Secretary of State tried to adopt, but didn't and now helping her count coup on all the other governments?" "Err, ok, some of that's probaby true, I ain't... figured out how to say no to Auntie just yet." "Mind you, none of us have, Nameihomei's a powerful position, as is Star-Emerald Knight of Great Kagome, and well, if your cousin her son can say no to her, we saw no evidence of that yet." "You two are enjoying this far too much, not that you two can say no to Auntie or Mommy except in emergencies." "Thank the elements, we haven't had a good reason to in quite a while, both of them are extremely well-read, level headed and shrewd, we've not needed to say no that often, and..." "And?" "And... let's just say we're happier not knowing what would cause us to say no, it's a touchy subject. The honour convention is pretty well-balanced lately, we don't have to raise a stink to get heard, and things are running smoothly." "And mom?" "Your Mother, and your Aunt, and, for that matter, Valias and Maelle and quite a few other females I could name are doing a bang up job, that the Kingmakers are too dense to appreciate, more fool them." "You think the kingmakers are fools?" "I... think the kingmakers would be much more formidable enemies if they weren't blinkered, wrongthinking, naive, under-cerebrated bigots. Some days I give thanks they're not smarter, some days I just want to pee on the whole notion they can even try to oppose a woman like your aunt, whose rule has been so far, rather stellar, and whose rule has risen the standard of living in Kagomei and every other metric we use for success, I heard Gubba-12 membership wasn't that far off... That's new, that wasn't reachable earlier in my lifetime!" "How did Auntie do it? I mean..." "Between Auntie and Mom, I suspect, a new treaty is the only way..." "What, what kind of treaty?" "Something big, like 30+ membership, and most of the Gubbas." "And why would the gubbas join in? Most of them already got free trade in Eurani?" "But not all of them, Aegypsom, Loro, Moniq, Nisei, Tsou, Hand, Goguryeo, New Etrusca, those all have asterisks for trade in Eurani." "And it'll take major mojo for them to abandon their protectionism from each other?" "Well, maybe, maybe not." "What are you saying, Amarat?" "Listen, I talk to mom more than anyone, ok? Protectionism is 'war by any other means' according to a bunch of Sarn philosophers." "So?" "So, Mom says if you can wean them off protectionism, through mutual defense pacts, you can build a bigger eurani pact." "I'm not betting against your mother, but you do realize anyone who'd do that would truly earn her moniker." "What moniker?" "Princess of Peace. How do you not know that?" "I do know sometimes the Secretary of State for Kagomei is granted that title... I just didn't think it was the one you meant..." "Domei of Strength? Wolf Lady? Baroness of Steel? Houseruler? She has a few..." "Houseruler? How'd she get that?" "Baegjag Bu-In Naeh-Inchon is her title in Goguryean Court." "What does that mean? Sorry, my Gohgur is nonexistant." "Lady of the house honour and decorum." "Wait, you lad is friends with the magelord of Nisei, and your mom is the fount of honour for Goguryeo?" "And Linni's sister is Electoral Princess or Prince of Saer-Natthingham." "And the kingmakers missed THAT?" "I can't imagine they missed it on purpose, but Dad and Linni's mom's pedigree is public information..." "How'd your mom's birth fly so far under the radar lad?" "What radar?" "If your sister's Electoral Princess? There's kingdoms that have treaties with her on behalf of her assets." "We weren't at the front of the line until recently..." "Who was?" "Amarat." "What?" "I had to abdicate a few crowns and coronets, I'm sure they were perfectly fine places, just not as great as Kagomei." "Benevent is not a coronet, noyjitat! Who the heck thought the Kingmakers were a serious political movement?" "They underestimate their opposition, that doesn't make them unserious, just lousy at intelligence..." "How lousy?" "They whiffed on the Mastarna of Benevento, the Electoral Princess or Prince of Saer-Natthingham and whoever inherits that Bu-baeg inchon title..." "Can't inherit that Gogur title, they had that one right, it's a distinction for her, while she lives." "Oh, at least, and what does it affect?" "She has to be present if the Primarch of Goguryeo abdicates, is coronated, or has heirs." "Wait, explain that to me like I'm an eight year old?" "She is not there, it doesn't count, Goguryeo cannot have an heir, a ruler, or remove one, unless she's present and witnesses... It'd be... without honour, and I quote." "Kinda like you have to be there for the Magelord of Nisei to be raised, Tadros?" "It's not an exact match, but the similitude is there, I, and all the other living Dawn Standards..." He paused, just barely resisting adding 'including yourself, Marhamat', "...who can walk must be present for a Nisan Magelord's ascension. There's been some truly ridiculous examples of 'can walk, for the purposes of this discussion', before." "And Bu-baeg-...?" "It's more extensive, it's a singular position, not quite unlike the Valour-keeper of Kagomei, if she disapproves, the primarch isn't worthy..." "Noyjitat!" "What he said." "Your mother has VETO on the king of Goguryeo?" "Primarch, not king, but yeah, kinda, and that part of the Gogurean constitution is written in Dawn Moniqan, it predates some parts of the Eurani Pact." "What, your mom has constitutional powers over 11 centuries old?" "Something like that." "Did the kingmakers goof, or what?" "Maybe not?" "What do you mean, Linni?" "Auntie is so big, they could just try to say they never had a fair chance?" "Hmm, ok, I want to say that's far-fetched, but they're actually so babes in the wood, they'd try that." "And Auntie's overseas holdings are neither required disclosures, nor common knowledge." "Why not?" "Mostly? Leverage." "No, effing way." "Come on, you've got fingers in the Loro pie, the Eurani Pie, the Goghur, the Moniq, the New Lolland, you're going to make noise?" "No, I get you, but... that only works as long as it's a secret! Mom's influence was never going to be a secret." "How big was she going to go?" "She had never thought to keep Benevent a secret, it was too pleasant a place for that." "Oh, fugetaboutit. She's Mastareir of Benevento?" "Bresciani Res/Beneventi Res isn't exactly that far..." "Wha? I mean, boy, you've always sounded so personable, so accessible. But, Brescia is Gubba-12, and Beneventi is a lot of the reason. Ferrare is a lot of the reason, the main part of Beneventi under his family's control."
Type
Civic, Political
Form of Address
Distinguished One
Reports directly to
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