Mama Loma's song-sync parlor

They were passing in front of a glarishly painted and decorated shop, all angry orange neons and bright greens. The sign read Mama Loma's.   "I heard of Moma Loma's."   "Mama Loma's." Linni corrected her.   "No, but Moma is a different thing in Laidanese, not something you'd put on a sign for your commerce."   "Oh?"   "Fraud Loma's is a daring look to try..."   "Oh, dear, indeed. Well?"   "Well, what?"   "You've never tried it, but you've heard of it, what have you heard?"   "Oh, well on the local state department mailing lists, apparently there's been lots of tall tales started in this place."   "Oh, tall tales, huh?"   "Yeah, like 'me and the Rhuthen embassador were almost naked, singing together at the tops of our lungs and no one batted an eye."   "That's Rhuthen ambassador Рудий червоний помаранчевий блондин, right? The bombshell?"   "I see she's made a name for herself..."   "Come on, some of that has to be fake, really!"   "Please don't ever say that to her face, you could get us at war with them!"   "I'm a priestess, I know that!"   "You were also voted 'most likely to be a loose cannon' by the squads."   "How do you even KNOW about that?"   "I was there when you dad won one of his..."   "What, dad had one too?"   "Yeah, just before I was eight."   "Oh, that long ago then?"   "You know they never assign it to flag officers, because for a flag officer to have an opportunity to be a loose cannon, someone must be doing something spectacularly wrong. That's why you haven't gotten any since..."   "Language... People will get the wrong impression if they just quote your last soundbite..."   "Hehe, good one. Ok, ok, that's why you haven't won the last few awards, you're too high to be..."   "Doing in-person shifts guarding the life of principals? I rewrote that doctrine, myself."   "That explains it, I think they didn't rescind the restriction, because it'd still be a stinging indictment for you to get it though."   "Who won it last, do you know?"   "Your little shadow, Senya, of course."   "I wish you wouldn't call her that, so this place, it's a tale starter huh?"   "Tall tales, mostly, but yeah."   "I dare you to go in, I don't think you have the guts."   "I'm not going in there so you can say I didn't because you didn't see me, and assume I ran away through the back door. If I'm going, you're coming with me."   "Why, that's almost like a date, back in Kagomei, you know, inviting a girl to a singsync session?"   "I won't kiss and tell... If you don't."   "Oh, fighting words! As if."   "Let's go in."   "Oi-oi! Kagomine visitors, and in such fine Wungli!"   "Will that be a problem?"   "You should come in more comfortable clothes, we have a small locker, but we're not insured if something happens to such a precious item."   "Precious? What do you know?"   "I elective-studied Kagomine culture, while I did my massage studies, I know that's the Wungli of the Red Rat, or a good reproduction, and even a good copy would get our insurance company very angry at us if something happened to it. We can keep your friend company while you go change..."   "Employee, actually."   "We overheard you joking about it being a date... Are you sure you want to back out of this that far?"   "Err, you're crafty here in Lai Dang, aren't you?" Linni slipped out the back, and called a rental aircar on his communicator.   Her hostess laughed immoderatly. "Laidanese have many neighbours, not all neighbours friends, although Kagomine, the people of peace, certainly are."   "How come everyone's been mentioning that sobriquet lately? I know Kagomine don't mention it, we've been ordered not to."   "Oh, well you've getting more nations to our shores than ever, for this historic treaty. And I've seen this face, maybe not on him, but someone like him..."   "Maybe my parents? They said they had a date here..."   "Hmm, do you have a picture of them?"   "Yeah." He searched for lai dang in his family photo book app, and showed the picture.   "My, yes, that was taken here, back when we had the blue lights as well, so maybe twelve years ago. Oh, yes, I remember him."   "What did he do?"   "Oh, he was as much of a sly fox are you are being, didn't tell the lady with him it was a date until it was too late for her to get cold feet!"   "A sly fox huh?"   "They were lapsed herevallin, at the time, dad was very proud of getting mom to come to that date..."   "What's this word, heverallin?"   "Temporary marriage, naval marriage, to be specific."   "Oh, for when people can be seperated by duty for long periods, etc?"   "Yes, exactly."   "Lai Dang calls it Hana Mirin, but we have something similar. Your parents were both diplomats?"   "Yes."   "Must be important ones, if you're handling the Wungli of the Red Rat that matter of factly."   "That's got... exactly nothing to do with it."   "Oh, how come you got a priceless relic dating back to the founding days of Kagomei?"   "Matsu Dandelion, the first Matsutan, was also the first Feline Advisor to Meihomei, like, ever. His wungli passes on to the next feline advisor, since that's a singular position."   "I still can't wrap my head around it."   "What?"   "That you get a priceless relic of Kagomine history for being a catsitter."   "Says the glorified babysitter..."   "What? Who? You dare??"   "I dare, come on, since I'm the baby, of course I dare Ga ga goo goo. Besides, there's a lot more to being the feline advisor than just feeding the cats.   "Let him have this one, lady, you can always get revenge on him later, when he least expects it."   "I like the way you think, although, since he's my principal, I can't hurt him."   "His pride's a bigger target, trust me. He is a diplomat after all."   "Is he though?"   "What, you're the Kagomine, your people are the ones with impenetrable titles, there's stories about your reps confusing everyone else all the time."   "I know that, and I'm not saying that's not true, but my understanding is that the feline advisor isn't even in the diplomatic service."   "No, Kitten-Ras are a parallel diplomatic service, in a sense. Hrm, shouldn't we bathe now? I imagine the food will get cold."   "Uh oh, a man of sense, in my establishment! Why I've never been so insulted, you Kagomine are crafty, to send sensible men out abroad, keeping none for yourselves, I warrant!"   Shibué just smiled, figuring out that her hostess had to be acting. Stereotype over stereotype piled up.   "He's right though, go take a bath, there's two rooms, one for each of you, and you two are the last ones for this meal, go now, while I'll prepare soup and Tailong for you."   "Tailong?"   "What's that?"   "Spicy fren meat, in a dumpling."   "Ah, see, you've been to Lai Dang before?"   "Err, no, but you did give your Tailang recipe to my parents, when they were here..."   "Bounderdash, I... oh wait! You're those two's son?"   "Yes, and I have a big sister."   The hostess was bent over down at the waist, and touched her head to the floor.   "Please, there's no need."   "But your parents, if they hadn't bought part of my commerce back then, I'd have lost it, I owe them more than I can ever repay... Are they well?"   "Err, they passed away ten arnds ago."  

---

  A tsou national, in snappy dress: "I'd like to speak to the manager."   "I am Mama Loma, I am the manager, how may I assist you?"   "I am Master Terfinon Minori, I have been employed by DaDaDaVeeVeeVee Holdings to inquire about a possible purchase of your estate." Master(from the french Maitre) here is used to indicate a practicing attorney.   "It is not for sale, I would very much like my children to inherit it. Who are these foreigners, and why would they want to aquire my establishment?"   "Linnaeus Van Pelt, one of the minority shareholders of the firm, has expressed interest in aquiring a share of the business."   "The prince of peace? And you thought you'd lead with buying the whole thing from me? You a thug and a brigand, leave, and advise your handlers that I will not discuss this through intermediaries, if they want to purchase my place, I will only discuss it with them in person."   Terfinon Minori blanched. You have no idea what you're asking!   "Most people are much more pleasant after a trip to the baths and a nice meal, perhaps a bit to drink, I'm sure even you could be improved by such, so I'm looking forward to entertaining them in my place, should they ever come."  

---

  "Oh, that's rich!"   "Of course you think this is funny, I can't leave Eurani and neither can Annunzia, not right now."   "If you give me your proxies, and Ninu can make it, I'm sure we can get it settled."   "Or we could just drop it."   "You know we can't. Charles Van Pelt's will specifically indicated he owned shares of the place, shares he's transferring to his succession."   "Which is managed by this corporation, acting as trustee."   "Except, of course, we've never given primacy to his family, when executing his wishes. Maybe we should just have Linni hold the shares in trust until the rest of it vests."   "What about Lusi?"   "She'd handle everything Sally."   "How sexist of you, a lot of what Sally owned should go to Linni, even I know he was her favourite, and because she got Nattingham, she can't get it anyways."   "You mean Ferrare? That's actually part of Amarat Senior's legs..."   "What, you?"   "No, I haven't been compatible since I was born, but I am saying I should get a vote which of them gets it, since it's something my 'dad' gave me to parcel out. More than you three, who still have mom and dad to whine to about not getting your way."   "Oh, grow up!"